My marriage is on the brink of divorce. I want to save my marriage. The problem is I can't even tell you where things went wrong or what I could have done differently to save my marriage. How do I stop my divorce and get my marriage back on track when I'm not even sure what went wrong?
Sometimes in life it feels like we were just born with the wrong equipment to handle the tasks that face us. There will always be times in life when we wish we had Sherlock Holmes abilities for deduction, Don Juan's skill with the ladies, or Rip Van Winkle's ability to sleep long enough that his problems really didn't matter all that much. It would be nice to look back on your marriage and deduce the exact turning point where things started going downhill or to be able to woo your wife back into your arms without a single hiccup. It would be even better if you could just go to sleep and wake up with the problems in your marriage solved for good. Unfortunately, that isn't the way things usually happen.
It isn't easy to look back on your marriage and point to a moment and say "That's it! That's when everything took a turn for the worse." Most of the time though, there isn't one defining moment that changes everything. It's a series of moments that leads to divorce and it is never the act of one person acting alone. It takes two people to make a marriage work and it takes two people to allow a marriage to stop working.
Were there things you COULD have done differently to save your marriage? Probably. But you can beat yourself up from heart to eternity with could have, would have, and should have. It doesn't help the here and now. But what could prove helpful is figuring out what you can do now, from this point forward, to change your marriage for the better and write a different ending for your marriage story.
It's not too late to make a difference even if you're already well on your way to divorce.