For most people, marriage is the greatest thing ever happened to them. It’s like a fairy tale come true, coupled with the ever famous “And they lived happily ever after” line. But, what most people do not understand is that marriage is the most difficult partnership ever conceived. If the couples do not have the knowledge of a married life, they going to have a tough time. Both partners need to understand that they are in a new world; it’s so different when they were single. However all is not lost. There are ways to avoid the pitfalls and the land mines of a married life. Some of the ways to save marriage will be discussed as follows:
Create happiness – being happy is one of the most important factor to survive the relationship and have a successful marriage. Happiness is the key to make sure your marriage work. It is not that your marriage must work first then only you’ll be happy, it’s the other way round. To avoid a sad ending to your “happily ever after” story, you need to learn to create happiness in your marriage. Some insight – you need to make your spouse happy before you think about your own happiness. When your spouse is happy, you’ll be happy. What you give you get back, happiness is created.
Cut the apron string – Getting along with the in-laws is considered by many as the biggest problems during married life. However understand that this shouldn’t be a problem at all. For marriage to work out, you should establish boundaries if you’re having in-law problems. There are a few essentials that you need to learn such as be assertive, get some privacy, give them respect, and to detach.
Learn to listen – How many times you heard your spouse said, “You’re not listening?” Hear and listen is not the same. “A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him” – Brendan Francis. If you are a woman and having marital problem with your husband, I guess you get something from this quotation? Getting married means being open to your partner, and being open means being able to talk and listen to him/her about anything under the sun. Learn to lend your ears to your partner.
What you give you get – most people are used to living a single life where all they think about is their self. This probably the reason why when they got married, they tend to become selfish and think only about themselves. If this is taken for granted, it could cause the downfall of a marriage. Another saying, “Do onto your partner what you want your partner to do upon you.”
Saying you’re sorry isn’t enough – Disagreeing is inevitable, especially in a marriage. You should understand this, there’s no such thing as “the perfect couple”. How you deal with the disagreeing would make a huge difference in your relationship. You both should learn how to communicate effectively to state your side of argument. Do not talk at the same time, give time for your partner to say what he/she need to say, and listen to him/her. Be humble enough to admit your mistake, ask for forgiveness and be sincere about it, don’t do lip service. Most of the time, both side should ask for forgiveness from each other, especially when both of you snapped out of anger and acted inappropriately. You also need to learn how to forgive; it’s another most important thing in married life. Learning to forgive and learning to trust are two different things.
Have fun – In the early part of married life, couples usually very happy. They go on vacation trips and engaging in leisure activities. But after some time they become engrossed with their individual jobs, and also fulfilling their responsibilities in the family. Nothing wrong in that, but you should understand that you need balance in your lives. No one is too old to play and have fun.
There you have it. If you practice the six ways to save marriage as discussed above, it will help you heal a marriage in trouble.