My Husband is Cheating on Me

in Marriage

A nagging question then would be whether there are any happy-ever-afters left in this world. Marriage is supposed to be one such channel in which to achieve this and most couples do manage to successfully circumvent their relationships from taking this collision course. But what happens when you have done all you can but it's still not enough to keep your husband from cheating on you?

1} No matter how far along we have come in terms of empowerment as women, there is still a gut wrenching pain involved when we realize that our spouse is cheating. And your instinct will play a vital role in determining if he is cheating on you. Do not bury your head in the sand and pretend that it is just your paranoid imagination. Subtle signs will tell you that your husband is seeking his thrills elsewhere.

2} You have to be the best detective you can be if you want to turn your suspicions into fact. It can be little things like him suddenly working late or improving his appearance but you will need to log this in as evidence because you don't want to be maniacal in your confrontation. You need proof and proof that is valid that your husband is cheating. And if you want to end the relationship, this proof should be admissible in court. There are so many ways you can go about this e.g. buying certain software that will track his call logs, hiring a private investigator to follow him, noticing a drastic change in spending habits which you do not benefit from and on and on.

3} Now bring your investigation closer to home. By this I mean observe his emotional and physical connection to you. If you begin to notice that your spouse is being emotionally distant without any viable reason like a stressful work environment, a recent personal tragedy or illness then you can be sure that he is diverting his attention to someone else. This distinction is clearer with your physical intimacy where he withdraws from you and makes excuses to avoid any contact with you.

4} Confrontation time. The crime channel may have assured us that it is not always the best bet to confront your husband over his infidelity in a private setting but it is a better option if you want him to be comfortable enough to confirm your suspicions. It's a devastating moment when all this comes to a head as he has probably been your anchor, best friend and soul mate. There can be no preparation for the pain involved in this stage but you need to deal with it and take advantage of the moment to ask questions. Depending on his reasons for committing the infidelity, your future together will depend on the manner in which you communicate i.e. he needs to understand how hurt you are and you need to understand why he choose to be in the arms of someone else.

5} Can you forgive him with all you have come to know about the affair? Can you get the details of the infidelity e.g. the explicit text messages, the possibility of running into the woman he was unfaithful with and the images of them together out of your mind? However difficult this may be, the success of this phase depends on your attitude. If it was a one time fling and he is aware of the damage he has done to your trust and is committed to making amends with the additional help of a professional then that's a good place to start in the mending process. But if there are other factors that will jeopardize your marriage in the future like a lack of trust etc, then perhaps it would be better to end the marriage. It's important to ask the right questions before you come to this decision.

6} Never assume blame for your husband's infidelity. Depending on the reasons that he gave for stepping out on you and the impact it left on your marriage, he may accuse you of playing a role in his betrayal therefore subjecting you to guilt. It's a case of reverse psychology based on his own shame or lack thereof so don't let it get to you by wasting time evaluating where you may have played a hand in leading him to stray. You are your own emotional and physical caretaker and above all, you deserve better respect for your dedication to the marriage. It's only natural to doubt your own self-worth but don't let it fester and lead you to take up other vices just to cope with the pain. Surround yourself with a solid support system that will help you through this difficult time.

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Rosy Anderson has 1 articles online

Do you want more tips on how to identify infidelity and save your marriage so that you can have the relationship that you want? Click here for more relationship resources.

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My Husband is Cheating on Me

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This article was published on 2010/07/10
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