There are some individuals who believe that living together before marriage is beneficial for both parties. It would serve as the testing ground if they would be able to get along well living in one roof. If not, it would be easier for them to part ways without having to face the trouble of filing and waiting for the divorce resolution something that they would still need to go through if they are married.
It is a fact that couples have a higher risk of divorcing compared to the married couples who have not live together beforehand. People say that living together would be one of the greatest ways to get to know the true personality of a person. You get to know their daily habits, rituals as well as their worst moments. Surely, you would be happy to know his personality but you end up being less happy.
Use this as an opportunity to iron out all the wrinkles in the relationship before you make the ultimate commitment. Living together before marriage gives you the potential to experience the other's habits, faults and funny little quirks. That endearing little quirk that you thought was so cute on a sporadic basis may drive you to distraction when faced with it daily. As a couple, you will be able to see how well you can make compromises in the all important issues of domestic duties and finances.
Many people who wait to live with someone until they are married are religious. As the Bible says, you should not live with someone unless you are married. You should not have sex unless you are married. But again, in our society, there are few virgins left. Our generation loses their virginity in their early teens. So this does not really apply to us anymore. Couples are still having sex whether they are living together or not.
Money/paying the bills-After you figure out how each one will contribute to the household budget, you need to write the checks and do the shopping. Will you get a joint account for paying the bills or will one of you hold all the money and be responsible for the checking account? Should you start a joint savings account and keep your personal one?
It is not being clear about your requirements, wants, needs, expectations that results in divorce, not the living together. Also, not being able to clearly communicate your requirements, wants, needs and expectations especially when they are not being met, or even worse, overlooking that they are not being met thinking it will resolve itself, or thinking that the other person will change or that you can change that person all contributes to the resulting divorce.
Romance happens in the courtship phase. It's purpose is to build good positive memories on which a marriage can be built. If you live together, the natural problems which will emerge, will disallow romantic fantasies which are so important. Not enough day dreaming time and too much problem solving can make a relationship a business deal rather than an exchange of respect for cherishing.
Beth Young, Senior Editor of the Marriage Advice website expressed her concern for this continuing trend. She stated, "Logic may tell the average person that a "trial marriage" is great preparation for the real thing. Then you can see how you get along and iron out any problems before you're married. However, social science studies refute this belief."