Many couples go through very challenging periods of time when they start wondering what can be done with regards to saving a marriage. Perhaps that is happening to you and you are desperately looking for some advice. While there are no simple answers, and each situation and marriage is different, following are some two things you can consider changing if your marriage is in crisis. While they might seem simplistic on the surface, even small changes can make a big difference when it comes to saving a marriage.
Not showing appreciation for your spouse
Sometimes we get so caught up in the busy-ness of our day to day lives that we forget to appreciate the things which are really important to us. This happens frequently in marriages, especially when two people have been together a long time. One or both people in the marriage fail to recognize just how lucky they really are to have each other until one ends up leaving or a tragedy happens. Sadly, saving a marriage at that point is going to be much more difficult than if this problem is detected and dealt with early on.
Take some time to consider whether or not you are doing this in your marriage. We all long to feel important, valued, and loved. A healthy marriage meets those needs to a significant degree. But if you take your spouse for granted and fail to acknowledge all the wonderful things he or she does, then this may be a contributing factor to your current crisis. Start paying attention to all the things your spouse does for you, as well as all his or her wonderful qualities. Show gratitude and appreciation. Doing this can go a long way towards saving a marriage which is on the brink of falling apart.
Failing to communicate
All relationships require quality communication in order to be healthy or to get back on track when there is a crisis. Many couples fail to really talk openly to each other. Women often make the mistake of presuming their husband can read their mind. Men often try to avoid challenging conversations which feel uncomfortable for them. Over time, a lot of issues which need to be dealt with get swept under the rug but start to fester.
If saving a marriage is truly important to you, it is imperative that you start working on your communication skills with your spouse first. If you grew up in a home in which your parents didn’t really talk to each other, this may be particularly difficult for you. But you can start by being the one to initiate more frequent and open conversations. With practice and effort, you and your spouse can become much more skilled communicators.
Sometimes in order for communication to go smoothly, you need to set some ground rules. For example, a good ground rule is that either of you can indicate when you need a “time out”. Sometimes a discussion can start to get heated and if one of you feels you might say something you will regret, this is the perfect time to step away from the conversation for a short while. You can resume talking later when both of you are calmer.
Showing appreciation and learning to communicate well are two significant steps towards saving a marriage which is struggling or in a crisis. Make the changes in yourself first. This will show your spouse how much you truly care and how important he or she is to you.