There are regrettably plenty of queries you will need to figure out after discovering your mate was cheating in you. Because of your mate's thoughtlessness your entire world was basically rocked to the foundations. Through no fault of your own you're coping with another individual's garbage and unfortunately there's no avoiding it.
Although you have a number of issues to sort out there are some specific questions that take priority. Obviously you want to know exactly why they did what they did however at this time that takes a back seat to the following:
Q. Are You Willing To Go On With The Relationship?
This really is the most apparent and in truth maybe the hardest. It is easy the moment you find out the news your spouse had an extramarital affair. Yet after some amount of time goes by you might not be so sure of your response. You could still have powerful feelings for your mate and in addition there could be a whole bunch of complications that could make ending the marriage incredibly difficult. It is a very difficult decision to make and one that only you can make so go easy with yourself.
Q. Does Your Husband Or Wife Want To Proceed With The Marital Relationship?
A lot of spouses that have been victimized by infidelity do not really think about whether their two timing spouse wants out of the marriage unless they simply say that they had an affair and have made the decision to end the marriage themselves. That occurs yet so does a period of indecision when they are not exactly confident what they want to do.
Now of course you could always beat them to it and say you're ending the marriage however this is not gonna be super easy if you still have feelings for them. It will be tough but you might have to wait things out. It does not suggest you give your mate all the time they need to make a decision. However if you get any kind of hint that they're looking to work things out then being patient could be to your advantage.
Q. In the event The Response To Both Questions Is Yes Then What Are The Two Of You Ready To Do To Ensure The Marriage Is Fixed?
For the marriage to be repaired there must be some rules. Not only going to marriage counseling though that is a major step. But in addition some kind of surveillance process has to be implemented. That could be anything from your mate checking in every hour or you flat out spying on them for a while.
Whatever it takes to guarantee the relationship moves in the right direction after infidelity. That could be a long time down the road so the both of you need to make a decision together how much you are prepared to do and then stick to it.